dear bloggers. <3

i no i haven't blogged for that long and from what you see my life is pretty normal right? i guess that just goes to show first impressions aren't everything, do not get me wrong i have my days and i like to blog about all my happy days as well its something i can look at when i am having a 'bad' day as my counselor would call it, i am going to blog a few separate blogs explaining what i went through i have bottled this up for a long time and i think people need to be more aware of how common and how often this actually happens to girls, noone deserves this, noone deserves to have their innocence taken away, i don't remember a time before i was scared, its like the moment i was betrayed it erased my memory of being a little girl, the little girl that trusted everyone, the little girl without a care in the world. Before i learnt the truth about life. Now when your growing up your taught stranger danger you are taught that there are bad people out there, but think back to when you learnt that? you never thought it would actually happen to you, and i no i never truely understood how my whole world could be turned upside down. 

It was almost midnight, it was the middle of winter and me and my girlfriends had all gotten together to go to a party, now the typical movie scene, my phone was flat i had a 50 dollar note which our payphones do not take so i began to walk hoping to waive a taxi down along the way. two guys approached me, i instantly trusted them i was scared walking alone i was not passing up on company, they said they were at the same party as me? i mean why wouldnt i trust them? i was so naive back then,

'we live on the other side of the park, come with us and you can ring a taxi from out house, you cant walk alone its dangerous out there' these are the words those monsters spoke to me which lead me into the park where my life was destroyed that night. that one night which i cannot let go of. it makes me sick now to think back that they were helping me only to have them betray me, change everything. the gory details which i mentioned in my last deleted blog i am not going to repeat as i said it was tacky, you dont need to no the details except i was left naked in the park screaming and covered in blood when the police found me. it was so cold it felt like with just a touch my skin would crack like ice, i held onto the ground  the whole world was spinning and i couldnt stop it, was i alive? was this a bad dream?

no this was real 100 percent real no matter how much i tried to wake myself up it wouldnt go away the pain and tears didnt stop, something i only ever seen on movies had actually happened to me how could i let this happen my parents taught me so well, one bad judgement had just changed everything.