my few months in perth turned to almost 2 years, and i was doing great i really was i still cried myself to sleep at night but this is still normal my life was coming together i had met a boy Thomas blair, we were together for almost two years i believe he had come to rocky and met my family and all. it was perfect :) until i started on the alcohol again, i started flipping out again i would wake up in the middle of the night and start hitting him i thought it was them again i ran away from him and hit him and screamed at him and he stuck by me through it all but i couldn't do this to him, at that point i knew i was better off alone trying to put my past behind me was stupid, not before i had dealt with it all properly, running away did not help entirely. i left Thomas and moved back to my family it broke my heart it really did but i knew he was better off how could i put someone through that, and now he has a beautiful gf and is extremely happy and i am happy for him if i didn't do what i did he wouldn't have let me go and i needed him to let me go no'one deserved that and if there ever was going to be the right guy for me it wouldn't be like that. it was only a few weeks back here and i met Matthew Henry Ross and i no it sounds wrong because its so soon after leaving the guy i thought was the one but like i said i would no how i felt if i was ever going to be happy, and this was it, we didn't do anything for ages and it felt so right i felt so so safe! not that i didn't feel safe with thomas but this feeling was different it was like i was fighting my past for so long and all of a sudden it didn't matter anymore. me and matt have had and ups and downs but it has always been him and i don't think that will ever change, everything about us is perfect not like cliche perfect because boy do we have fights and days where we both are so frustrated with each other but its so real, he doesn't try make it perfect he just does what he feels and i have doubts but deep down i no, its easier for someone who has gone through so much pain to understand the opposite of it. and that's exactly what i have when im in his arms.
We do not talk about what happened but he is always there if i need to, it hasnt really come up until recently the police wanted me to go over my statements and it was put back on the news and i can tell it breaks matts heart deep down. but i no i have him forever.